T .O. is a Bill. More on that later. If you believe that deities control the world of sports (and I can’t imagine why you would), then the past seven days are proof that they have a sense of humor.

Let me consult my thesaurus as I try to think of some words to adequately describe the past week…topsy-turvy…crazy…wacky…the British are coming! Wait, I switched sides of my brain. Sorry about that.

There was certainly no lack of things to talk about. So let’s talk then. Today on “The List,” things you should not believe though you saw them on TV.

3. Courtney Paris guarantee. The now-infamous star center for the Oklahoma women’s basketball team said just days ago she would return her scholarship money if the Sooners did not win this year’s national championship. It’s a roughly $64,000 prediction, but not out of the question for a team ranked No. 3 with some of the deepest talent in the country. Paris is, after all, “Mrs. Double-Double.” Yes, there is this team called Connecticut with its undefeated record, but what about Maryland, who just won the ACC Tournament? How about Duke, who lost to Maryland by three points in that game? Perennial teams like Texas, Baylor and North Carolina are always a threat. But, at 29-3, Auburn won’t creep up on anyone. Sleepers like Middle Tennessee and Wisconsin-Green Bay aren’t likely to win the NCAA Tournament, but they can knock down a giant on the right day.

2. Terrell Owens is a Bill. I’m thinking most fans wouldn’t mind at all sticking Owens in a place that is an outpost compared to most other NFL cities. But this just feels weird—kind of like listening to your grandparents talk about their wedding night. Terrell Owens is going from the land of bulls and big hats to the land of, umm, bison and low barometer readings. But hey, it’s all about playing the game, right? Right. There are minimal distractions, people say. No need to worry about Owens’ erratic behavior. The countdown begins…now.

1. The Netherlands rule. Well, not really. Not yet, anyway. But if anyone doubts baseball is on its way back, this team’s performance is a good sign. The Netherlands team beat the Dominican Republic twice in less than a week in the World Baseball Classic. The Dominicans, the biggest contributor of foreign talent to Major League Baseball, were a favorite to win this tournament. In fairness, Dominican player Alex Rodriguez is hurt, but there is still a major league star at nearly every other position. By the way, defending champion Japan is out. How do you say “shark meat” in Dutch?