The glory of spring

Published 6:00 am Friday, March 20, 2009

Today is the first day of spring according to the calendar on my desk, but I don’t need my calendar to tell me it’s spring. There is plenty of evidence on my car’s windshield every morning.

Pollen is in the air again, clouding the vision and invading the nostrils of all those who fear the dreaded vernal equinox.

Spare me the stories of new life, of how everything is blooming and turning green, and of how the birds are chirping. As far as I’m concerned, they can skip all that garbage and go straight to summer.

Yes, spring has sprung all her glory on me, and I’m expressing my excitement by coughing until I gag, sneezing my guts out, and helping the facial tissue companies survive the economy.

Oh, but I’m not the only one who is celebrating. Just about everyone in my immediate family shares my affinity for springtime. And because of that, we have been keeping our distance from each other.

But I will say spring has a way of bringing people together. There’s nothing like sitting in a crowded doctor’s office next to someone you don’t know and coughing. It’s almost like being on vacation because, hey, at least you’re not at work.

It can be fun to watch people in a doctor’s waiting room. There’s always that one guy who makes friends with the person across the row and talks loud enough so that everybody in the room knows his life story. Or, you could find someone you don’t like and take pleasure in the fact that they are mortal.

I’m not trying to be negative. I don’t have to try. There are anti-blessings abound, so many of them I cannot count them all.

But there is one thing I like about spring. It’s the Lenten luncheons served by Walnut Creek United Methodist Church. That soup and chili is good for what ails you, and the music and message remind us of the real reason to celebrate spring — Easter.

But if that Easter bunny comes around, he had better keep his distance. Somebody hand me a shotgun.